Job search networking: They never got back to me!

It can be difficult to know what to do when people who offer some kind of help for your job search and then don’t follow through.

I’ve found that if people offer to help you, they almost always intend to do it. And then there is that big thing that can get in the way of those good intentions–life.

When people offer to do something, be sure to thank them. Then ask some questions so you know what they really intend to do. This also gets them to start thinking about really doing it. Often I’ve found that people say they will follow up with a colleague to introduce you but don’t really think about what or when specifically they will do it. So they just honestly forget.

And of course sometimes these offers are a lot like those promises to “call you for lunch—really soon.” So get specific to find out if this is a real offer or just an air kiss.

A few easy questions will help. Maybe questions like “are you sure you have time to do that?” or “I’ll want to follow up with them right after you’ve contacted them. Will you let me know when you’ve connected with them? Or do you recommend I just plan to call them on Wednesday? Should I call you later this week to follow up?” You get the idea.

Many times (most times, actually) I’ve seen job seekers say something like “OK, thanks.”  It’s almost as though the job seeker is afraid if they keep talking the person will change their mind. Or they are thinking “OK, got one. Now need to move on to someone else to talk to.”

You just need to ask some questions to make this work for you. You might feel that asking for specifics is being pushy or might sound ungrateful. As long as you don’t grill them under hot lights, I have found that some follow up questions from you makes the other person feel you are excited about what they have promised to do.

When you just say “thank you” and then just change the subject or move on to the next person at the meeting, it might give the person an impression that their offer wasn’t all that attractive to you.

Think of it like getting a present. When you just say thank you and that’s all, I might think you aren’t all that crazy about the sweater I knit for you. When you try it on, ask me how I fit the sleeves so well, I feel you really like what I’ve done. Help me feel you like the idea I’m going to do something that will help your job search.

If these questions about the specifics don’t you get specifics in return, I would assume the other person is making an offer they aren’t going to follow through on, and just lower my expectations. Then if they actually do follow through, it’s like an extra present. One that really fits.